There is a Way
Aggravations are part of life—but feeling aggravated doesn't have to be. It’s possible to face frustrations without letting them take over.
What Kinds of Situations do we Find Aggravating?
- At work, unrealistic demands or difficult colleagues
- With partners, disagreements in which their attitudes or preferences seem irrational
- Technical glitches such as computer, internet, or app malfunctions
- Everday annoyances such as traffic jams, long lines, noise, people cutting in line,people talking loudly on their cellphones, appliances breaking down, unfair or unexpectedcharges or expenses, infinite telephone menus...and I'm sure you could name some others.
Feeling Aggravated is So Uncomfortable.
We tense up, feel angry, and become fixated on the source of the aggravation. We may feel overwhelmed, helpless, may possibly react physically (pounding the table?), and may have fantasies of retaliation.
Why Do We Seem to be Stuck with It?
Aggravating situations are experienced as threats, and the response to a threat is aggression (anger). This stimulus > response sequence becomes locked-in early in life.
But a Pause Can Unlock It
If a pause occurs between the stimulus and the response, the sequence can become unlocked, and a new response can be chosen.
An Inner Guide Can Cause a Pause
How does it do that? By causing a change in the situation. For instance, if you want to lose weight, when you set the table, your Inner Guide may cause you to forget the fork. When you sit down to eat, you can't: no fork. You simultaneously are starting to eat/not starting to eat. This situation creates the necessary pause (just a nanosecond) that allows the stimulus to match with a different solution: to eat healthfully. (It takes time before the new solution enters one's awareness).
We Can't Always Identify What Caused the Pause
Often, we don't know what action our Inner Guide has taken to cause a change to occur. As a matter of fact, I experienced an aggravation last week when my website wouldn't accept the blog I'd written. It behaved as though I hadn't uploaded it, even though I had. I tried repeatedly with the same result. But I did so calmly. Why? Because my Inner Guide had caused a pause to occur, unlocking the snafu > anger sequence. I didn't (and still don't) know what my Inner Guide did, but it solved the problem. Whereas years ago, I would have felt very aggravated, now, with my Inner Guide, I just felt calm.
If you have an Inner Guide and are doing self-hypnosis or meditation regularly, your Inner Guide is working to relieve you of moments of aggravation. Perhaps you''ve noticed, as I have, that episodes that formerly caused aggravation are now causing less, or none. If you haven’t yet acquired your Inner Guide, I offer a free resource that can enable you to do so: Relieve Stress a New Way And let me know how it's going for you. I'll be glad to help if you would like.
